Circles of Hands

Emotions are a part of life.  Though we often resist or push back on emotions .  We don’t want to feel the negative stuff.  We don’t want to be the Debbie Downer that talks about the negative stuff.  At some point, especially the yogis out there, we discover the Law the Attraction and think that by merely mentioning, thinking or experiencing the hard feelings — discomfort, grief, anger — that we create more of it for ourselves.  Paradoxically, the more you fight against the hard stuff, the more present it is in your day-to-day life. And life is already sprinkled with difficulty.  It’s this bittersweet dance of weddings and funerals, Christenings and Bar Mitzvahs, hospital visits and long walks on the beach.  We celebrate the milestones in community–with friends, family and distant acquaintances around to offer support.  We commemorate death and life with the comfort of others.

“I got my city right behind me, if I fall, they got me; Learn from that failure, gain humility and then we keep marching ourselves.” – Macklemore

What I’ve started envisioning for all of these events, the momentous milestones and the little steps along the way, is concentric circles of hands.  Picture a significant life event — could be a friend has just discovered that she has cancer, could be a friend planning a wedding.  Place that event at the center of a circle.  Forming a ring around that event, are the people closest to the experience.  In the example of the friend with cancer, the people in the first ring around her are those who support her — her husband, her best friends, closest work colleagues, etc.  The next ring out is the support for the inner ring.  In this example, the best friend’s significant other would be supporting the best friend, while the best friend supports the sick friend. Support is important. Regardless of whether there’s a wedding to plan or someone battling cancer,  you will put your hand on your friend’s back and offer whatever support you can.  We hold each other up.

Support for the Support

For man nothing drains self-esteem faster than the buy levitra line words “erectile dysfunction.” There are a lot of problems in their life which is not good for them. When compared to men it does not do any major viagra 100mg for sale http://djpaulkom.tv/video-more-mayhem-in-da-mafia-6ix-tour-vlo6-5-sinnerstour/ damages or injuries to the penis that induce nerve, muscle, or vascular damage may trigger erection problems. Yet, the thing is that a portion of the men have issues sildenafil canadian pharmacy in getting or maintaining a stiffer penile erection. He thinks it better getting help from internet to find the appropriate medical treatment for levitra india this disease. As important as that first circle of hands is the second.  It’s so easy to forget that supporting someone, whether it’s at a positive moment or in something hard, takes effort, love and often requires some additional help.  A real life example: a few years ago, a friend of mine lost his father to complications to surgery after struggling with cancer.  If his father was in the center of the circle of hands, my friend was in the first ring, supporting his dad while simultaneously dealing with the emotions of watching a loved one pass on slowly.  At the funeral, many people came because they knew his dad.  But a number of people came, not because of any relationship to the diseased, but in support of those still living.  Friends and extended family came specifically to support the inner circle.

Death, grief, cancer, illness, fear — these aren’t words for polite conversation.  And still, those conversations, where people vent, cry, scream, speak softly, and articulate the truth of their experience is so vital to human understanding and connection.  It doesn’t matter where in the circle you are for a particular experience, what matters is that sense of support, of people holding each other up.  You can listen.  You can be present.  You can rest a hand on a friend’s back.

“We’re all just walking each other home.” – Ram Dass