Finding Support: Outside & In

One of the toughest thing about being “chronic” in your twenties is that your peers just don’t get it. You know what I’m talking about. Most folks in their teens, twenties and sometimes into their thirties believe that their body is a machine, created to do as the mind instructs. Typically, if you speak to people much older, or perhaps older souls, you’ll hear more about the synergy of the body and mind, the interconnectedness. But at 20-something, most are only just figuring out their limits at the bar. A real relationship with oneself, with the body, that seems to come much later.

After awhile, you come to the conclusion that your direct peers, your colleagues and classmates, don’t really understand what’s going on with regard to your situation. It’s not that 20-somethings are uncompassionate people, it’s that for the rest of your life seems impossible. It’s just too big to comprehend.

Denial is so common. And when there isn’t a solid support system in place, it’s easy enough to try to hide there and wait it out. We want so badly to believe that this disease is a fluke or that it’ll just go away as quickly as it came. But this perspective doesn’t help address the problem of our health; it doesn’t provide a way to move forward. More specifically, it doesn’t allow us to get what we need to support ourselves.

With or without an illness, we arrive at the question we each must ask ourselves: What is the best way for me to be supported in this moment?

The question is worded in such a way as to imply that you cannot do everything yourself. You’re not your own doctor, nurse, massage therapist, spouse, best friend, hiking partner, etc. But you’re also not a victim or completely helpless. It is simultaneously terrifying and empowering to begin to learn to listen to what your body needs. Similar emotions come up when you learn to ask for the support you need.

But in the end, it’s the same idea. Finding internal and external support starts with learning to listen.

Remove any notion of what you should need or want, let the judgement fall off and ask yourself honestly: What is the best way for me to be supported in this moment?

Journal it. Share it here. But listen!